How to write vulnerably without oversharing
Learn how to write with honesty, impact, and intention, without oversharing or performing for applause.
I have written about being gender-fluid, about parenting a neurodiverse daughter and about getting arrested at 15, about building a business from rock bottom, and every time I hit publish, people ask me the same thing.
“How do you share so openly without oversharing?”
That is what this guide is about. There is a tool I use in my writing called “The Vulnerability Spectrum”, which helps me navigate the thin line between honesty and indulgence, impact and performance, connection and chaos.
If you are a founder, creator, or leader trying to show up more authentically online. but you do not want to air your trauma for clicks, this is your blueprint.
This is also part of what I teach in my H.A.L.O Masterclass, a 6-week cohort, designed to help founders and creators write with authenticity, own their story, and build a personal brand that people trust, not just follow.
Let me break it down.
At one end of the spectrum, there is oversharing, which is raw, unprocessed and usually self-serving. Think: “I cried for hours after that client meeting. I felt completely worthless and questioned my entire career…”
It might be true, but it has not been metabolised yet. When we write from this place, we are often looking for validation, not connection, and the audience is not in the frame yet. And that is the problem.
On the other end is performance, and these are the “challenge is just opportunity in disguise” posts, which are sanitised, motivational and hashtag-heavy. They are technically vulnerable but emotionally hollow.
I have written these too, especially early on when I was scared of showing the messy bits. They are safe, but they do not stick.
The goal is to write from the middle, which is what I call strategic vulnerability.
This is vulnerability that is processed, integrated and shared with intention. Not to vent and perform, but to serve.
Strategic vulnerability sounds like this: “That difficult client feedback taught me an important lesson about resilience. Here’s how I transformed criticism into growth…”
Here is how that looks in my own writing. When I talk about navigating gender identity in a conservative society like Singapore, I do not just dump the hardest parts or start with “Men stare at me when I wear skirts” or “I get chased out of toilets by cleaners.” That would be oversharing, as even though its true, it is disorienting.
Instead, I give context. I write: “Navigating my identity in Singapore has not been easy, but I have always had thick skin. Stares and comments don’t bother me because I know who I am and I am proud of it.”
That line pulls you in without putting the weight on you, and then, I layer in the specifics like bathroom experiences, public PDA with my wife, how my daughter sees me.
Not because I need pity, but because I want the reader to feel the stakes of living authentically and maybe see their own reflection in it.
I ask myself three questions before I post anything vulnerable:
Is this processed? Have I learned something from this experience, or am I still in the middle of the storm?
Is this useful? Will this help someone feel seen, gain insight, or ask better questions about their own life?
Is this responsible? Does this respect the privacy of people in my life, including my daughter?
But there are times I fail to ask these questions too, which is why on one occasion, I posted a photo of my daughter during a meltdown. Yes, it was powerful and captured our daily reality, but it crossed a line as her story was not mine to use for impact.
The truth is, writing with vulnerability is not about dumping your diary onto LinkedIn. It is about choosing which truths to share and why, because not every scar needs to be shown. But the ones you have healed and taught you something worth passing on? Those are gold.
In a world addicted to polish and performance, your story, which is told with care and clarity, is a signal, a beacon and a mirror for someone who needs it.
And if you want to learn how to do this without burning out or breaking trust, I will announce the next cohort for my masterclass class soon. Watch out for it.
We write to serve, build a voice no algorithm can replicate, and a brand rooted in humanity because vulnerability is not weakness and is leverage when it is done right.