Marry the right person because it beats any business coach
Sunday musings: Weekly check-ins, shared mental load, and true co-parenting gave me more clarity and leverage than any growth hack ever could.
A few years ago, I was terrified that my marriage to my wife, Felicia, would not survive my evolution because I was changing faster than I knew how to explain.
When I began to embrace a more feminine presentation, started identifying as gender-fluid, and shared my story publicly, I wondered whether the person she married would still feel like me to her.
But she celebrated my identity by picking out my first crop top with me. She learned how to do my makeup, held my hand in public when I was presenting as femme and didn’t flinch when others stared. That kind of love, which is active, affirming, and courageous, became my anchor.
Every Friday night, we sit down for a weekly check-in. We ask each other: How are you feeling about this week? Is there anything you need from me? How can we support each other better?
This ritual is our calibration tool. Like investor and entrepreneur Codie Sanchez’s “team method,” it reminds us we are on the same side, facing the chaos of life, not each other. There is no scoreboard and no tallying of who did more.
Instead, there is intention. We try to remove as much of the mental load as possible from each other, not just the physical tasks but the invisible ones like remembering appointments, managing emotions, anticipating the kid’s meltdowns, and navigating the next therapy session.
Mental load is the unseen, unrelenting work of managing a household. It is the logistics behind logistics, like the meal planning, school reminders, doctor appointments, playdates, emotional regulation, and future-proofing.
It is why so many parents are tired even before the day begins, and for many women, especially in heterosexual marriages, this load becomes a quiet burden that goes unseen, unshared, and unresolved.
But in our home, we believe in co-parenting by truly co-owning the cognitive and emotional labour. That means I plan school runs, I handle therapy logistics, I anticipate meltdowns, I lead bedtime when needed, and she does the same. We rotate, tag in and communicate.
Codie once said that a happy marriage is one of the biggest business hacks, and I couldn’t agree more.
When your home is grounded in mutual respect and emotional clarity, your work becomes lighter. There is no distraction from resentment or mental friction, just energy that is focused, available, and sustainable.
I have been able to write, consult, launch digital products, and coach creators across time zones because my partner sees my vision and feeds it. Like entrepreneur Alex Hormozi said, a great partner doesn’t just support you; they believe in your dreams, often more than you do.
I didn’t build Human Algorithm alone. I built it with the strength I gained from that support, from someone who does my makeup before a podcast shoot, who lets me vent after a tough week.
That belief is practical, and it is bedtime handovers and therapy scheduling, groceries remembered, and admin tasks split, and it is “I’ve got her” when I need two hours to write.
So yes, a supportive marriage is a business advantage. But more than that, it’s a system of shared vision, emotional fluency, and daily intention. It is about partnership, and when both people are free to become their fullest selves, business becomes powerful.
See you next Sunday.
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The love you both share warms my heart. Glad that you’ve got each other’s back. And this picture… the epitome of 夫妻像 omgggg!